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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Honor Thy Father


I spent a long time trying to come up with a title for this blog. Searching for quotes and songs about Dads and Fathers, I found there are not near as many as for Mothers. As one quote goes by an unknown author,"Fathers Day is just like Mothers Day, only we don't spend as much."

It's a fact that we usually let our Dad's do what ever they want on their day and we put our Mothers on pedestals and shower them with gifts and brunch and phone calls. I remember that all my Dad ever wanted from his kids was a visit on his special day. He was short changed due to the fact that his Birthday, June 18, usually fell on or around Fathers Day. It was easy to cover both days with one visit.

Over the years, the role of Fathers in the family has evolved. Rumor has it, my Dad never changed a diaper. Not that hard to believe. His role in the family was clear, he worked two to three jobs a day, came home, ate dinner with us (most of the time) and then wanted to be left alone. Occasionally he would help us with out homework. Over the last 20 years Fathers have been much more participatory in both child rearing and household responsibilities. They often don't get their due, because the fact is usually ignored that they are still performing their outside chores in the lawn, etc. . But let me be clear that the majority of the household/child care is still provided by Momma.

It does my heart good to see Fathers enjoying their Children's company much more these days than when I was growing up.

June 29th my Dad will be gone four years. I still miss him like crazy. Over the years we had many disagreements about how things should be done. I on how he should fit the mold created for him in my mind, and he on how I should be fiscally responsible. Very rarely do our expectations meet the reality of it all.

For those who still have their Fathers, enjoy each day with them, because they may not be around tomorrow. For those of us who have lost our Dads, know that they are with us in spirit and still letting us know (in subtle ways) the right thing to do.

1 comment:

MaryEllen said...

I enjoyed your thoughts on Lynn. The grandfather who raised me was a very different kind of father. After working one or two jobs day, he always enjoyed spending time with his kids and grandkids, and any friends we brought along. He loved to tell stories, sing, dance, reveling in general silliness, and never failing to offer good advice as needed. I miss him every day, even though he has been gone for over a quarter of a century. His wit and wisdom sustain me, often helping me through adversity. Honor your Father indeed! We owe them so much.