Sarcasm...It's Whats For Dinner

One definition of sarcasm is "witty language used to convey insults". It is usually reserved for friends and family to demonstrate the strength of the bond between them, knowing they can say it with out hurting the feelings of the other one. Sarcasm is not for the faint of heart. It must be delivered with some jocularity and just the right amount of bite.

How do I know so much about this subject, you might wonder? Well boys and girls, I was raised on sarcasm, it runs rampant in the Stedge family. Not just my immediate family, but my aunts, uncles and cousins. In order to fit in I had to become adept at the art. Some people think I excel at the sport.

From the time I was 12 years old, I endured insults and jabs, mostly at the dinner table, but there were drive-by insults too. For example, I would emerge from my bedroom ready for church in a colorful outfit, and my Dad would comment that I looked like a rainbow, not too bad, but then would say my legs appeared to be "broomsticks with feet", ouch.

Then there were the attacks on my cooking abilities. I used to fix dinner for Dad and my Brothers some nights, because Mom worked afternoons at the Medical Facility in Hastings. One night I made macaroni salad. I cooked way too much macaroni and we ate it til it went bad. From then on I was kidded about having to get the wash tubs out because I was making macaroni salad again. I remember one particular incident as my Dad was coming to the dinner table, he asked me if they" said they were sorry". I asked "who?" He answered," the person who stepped on your face." That had everyone rolling on the floor, including me.

I carried this ability to give and take sarcasm to High School with me. In our Junior year, Bob and Larry and I had what can only be called "slam contests" everyday in Mr. Jones' English class. My best slam by far was telling them both that they were about as "handy as a screen door on a submarine".

Recently, I got together with Larry (after looking for him for forty one years) and was delighted to find that we could pick up right where we left off with the insults. ( His lack of hair and my terminal shortness.) Oh my GAWD that was fun!

So here's the deal, if I am sarcastic with you, it means you are a special friend. It's my way of saying "I love you, man". If you take offense, then" bite me". I'm just sayin'...

We Remember

Today is a bittersweet day for me. For you see it is 9/11, a day forever emblazoned in our memories eight years ago. It is also the day my first grandchild was born 12 years ago.

Sam and I were eating supper when we got the call that Max was coming into the world. We dropped everything and headed to the hospital to await his arrival. It was a small birthing room, so we waited in the (what else?) waiting room. We were periodically updated on everything, including Andrew's near-fainting spells. It, along with the birth of our Granddaughter Addie are among the best days of my life. We met when he was only 5 minutes old and have been fast friends ever since.

I am sure we all remember where we were and what we were doing on that fateful day 8 years ago. The images on our television are still etched in my mind as I watched in horror when the second plane sliced through the South Tower. My mind immediately raced to my Grandchildren and my Son, Andy who was working at a federal installation at the time. Notice the order of concern. If you are a grandparent you totally understand.

For days we watched the terror unfold, as we heard horrific stories of loss. The nation was in shock from being attacked on our home soil. But I am telling you nothing, because we all went through it. The heroes are those who lost their lives by merely going about their daily routines, and those they left behind who must carry on.

So today I will celebrate the life that came into the world 12 years ago, and remember the day that brought us together as a nation 8 years ago.

May the Lord wrap his loving arms around those lost on 9/11 and be with the ones that are left behind. Amen.

I've Looked at Things From Both Sides Now

We all lament getting older. I know that is not a very profound thought, but as I am approaching sixty at supersonic speed, I find myself reflecting on the history that has been made in my lifetime.

I can remember at my Grandma Stedge's funeral at the age of 92, how we marveled at the changes she had seen during her lifetime. From horse and buggies to automobiles to airplanes to putting a man on the moon. Wow, how do you wrap your head around that?

Baby-boomers have seen our share of history and change. As far as change, there are way too many to list here. Digital TV, and Radio, computers, wireless communication, copy machines, fax machines, digital photography are just a few.

We witnessed the civil rights movement, the war in Vietnam, and Woodstock. We cried at JFK's funeral, were stunned by Martin Luther King, Jr.'s death, maddened by the assassination of Bobby Kennedy, (our last best hope for ending the war), and aired our grievances at places like Kent State and the Chicago Democratic Convention. That was our youth.

Our adult lives have been no less stressful. A war in the Persian Gulf, two foreign terrorist attacks on American soil,(we all remember where we were on 9/11 as we watched in horror the downing of four airliners and the killing of thousands of innocents) and the ensuing war in Iraq and Afghanistan, have all added to the color of our world. Oh, and let us not forget the financial crisis that hit in late 2008 and has affected the entire world.

Today we said goodbye to the last Kennedy brother, Edward. We all watched him bury JFK and Bobby, help their widows in raising his nieces and nephews, try to live up to his father's expectations, be a successful US Senator, and run for President in 1980 only to be derailed by his own poor judgment. He was the only son of Joseph Kennedy not to be cut down in his prime. He had his flaws, but he tried to redeem himself through his tireless efforts. He accomplished more for the poor and the down-trodden than he ever could have as President.

Politically, I think of myself as a moderate, which I don't believe anyone recognizes anymore. To me there is good that can be taken from both sides. (Perhaps I am an Independent.)

At this point in time there are a lot of people suffering. Not just the homeless or the mentally ill, but people like you and me. People that thought they were living the dream. Then the dream evaporated, pretty much over night, they woke up one morning and housing values had dropped, their 401K's were worth half of what they were when they went to bed, and they lost their job. They could use a little help.

So here is what I am trying to get at. If I am asked to help my fellow man while they are going through a rough patch, I am okay with that. I do not mind paying taxes to provide health care to those who have none, or to help those who may be losing their homes, or for programs to provide jobs for those who need them. I don't feel it necessary to blame them for the troubles they are in. If we are truly Christian, we look at them and see Christ. The words of Jesus go something like this: What so ever you do for the least of your brethren, that you do unto me.

Let's try to be more compassionate toward those who are struggling. We will be paying taxes until doomsday, why not quit bitching and start seeing the good that our tax dollars can do. After all, we never know when we will be the beneficiaries of one of the programs.

"Hey You's Guys, We're Moving To Chicago!"

OR
The Power Of Prayer


For darn near the past five years, I have been hoping and praying that somehow we would be able to move back home to Michigan. We found ourselves in the Pacific Northwest in 2004 due to a job change for my Husband, Sam. Telling ourselves that it would be an adventure (yeah, right). We packed up and headed west.

I thought our prayers were answered a year and a half ago, when his company notified us that we were being relocated to their Chicago Office. Praise the Lord, I thought, 150 miles away from home is better than 2300. Well, the economy was starting to go south and the company canceled the relocation. I was devastated. Every time I visited home, it was apparent to me what I was missing out on because I was so far away. My Grandchildren were 3 and 6 years old when we left. Fast forward to today.

Sam and I decided to take a three week vacation back to Michigan in June. We had a ball, visiting people and places we hadn't been in five years. We both realized how much we wanted to be closer to our loved ones, so we formulated a plan.

His company still wanted him in Chicago but hesitated asking us to transfer due to the fact we would take a loss on the house. When Sam returned to work after vacation, he approached his bosses and proposed that if we were willing to short-sell our home, would they transfer us to Chicago? They agreed, giving us the full relo package. Now we are a long way from moving, as there are numerous obstacles to overcome. We have to find a buyer, the bank has to approve the short-sale, etc. but this brings us hope and my mood has improved 100%.

So we are boning up on our driving skills, honking and changing lanes, being aggressive, rude and loud. Living there will also be an adjustment, but at least we can drive to Michigan on weekends and look forward to visits from friends and family, plus attend events at school for our Grandkids.

I am thinking that our last visit sparked a lot of prayers from various people that helped, along with ours, to get us to this end. Prayer is a powerful thing. If we take charge of our lives and not just wait for things to happen, that in tandem with prayer usually gets us to where we need to be.

Like A Prayer

As we headed back west from our visit to Michigan,(after I let go of the car bumper in an effort to keep us there), I decided to make the best of it and pay special attention to the scenery along the way.

By the time I had whipped myself into shape, we were in Iowa. This is America's food belt where life is simple. Huge grain silos tower over family farms, announcing their existence from miles away. Wildflowers grow neatly along the roadside. Iowa seems a proud State. Proud of what they have and what they contribute to our nation.

We had an ambitious schedule for the first day, 1200 miles. (Are these people nuts? The answer is affirmative.) While speeding through Nebraska, I noticed lots of livestock. What I couldn't see, I could smell. Some think the State is boring and flat, but it is green and fertile and the further west we drove it became more rolling and hilly.

Wyoming is where a lot of our energy comes from. The land is barren high desert, but below the earth lie rich pockets of oil and natural gas. The landscape is dotted with pumping stations and towns named after the oil companies. I have to admit every time we passed a Halliburton truck, it gave me an uneasy feeling, and I thought of Dick Cheney and nearly lost my breakfast. At the Bitter Creek rest area we ran into a prairie dog town. I love prairie dogs. They seem to be the clown princes of the animal kingdom.

As we diverted from our route going out, we headed toward Jackson, Wyoming. I fell in love with the forests and mountain streams as we made our way to the Grand Tetons.
Ranches dotted the landscape and made a body wonder how they survived when the harsh winters came. (My guess is snowmobiles). It would be a great place to write.

Without a doubt the highlight of our trip was Grand Teton National Park. The majestic mountains stood like sentries among the lush landscape. Only God and the force of nature could have created this awe inspiring sight. We headed to Yellowstone thinking we would see lots of wildlife, but they must have had the day off as we only saw one Bison, two River Otters, and a couple of Elk. (We did catch a Moose bathing in a lake next to the highway in Montana.)

Our next stop was Old Faithful. The earth seemed a giant boiling pot and the steam made the air hazy and smelled a bit like sulfur. We arrived about an hour early for the eruption, so we went to the Old Faithful Lodge and had a supper of Bison meatloaf, mashed potatoes, etc. and were done in time for the show. I was a bit underwhelmed when the geyser finally went off. I don't really know what I expected, but it was something more than what we got.

Moving on, we drove through Idaho which is gorgeous, (except for where mining has ruined the landscape and polluted the rivers), and into eastern Washington. When we had to make the decision of going home through Oregon or Washington we chose Washington. It is only a two lane road, but the Columbia Gorge is a sight to see, and it is best viewed, we found, traveling WA-14. There are times the road takes you at least 1000 feet above the river and the scenery is spectacular. Lewis and Clark took this route to the Pacific so there is a lot of history here.

When we arrived home we thanked God for a successful trip and for the beauty he arranged for us that, most of the time, everyone takes for granted. It was a spiritual journey that brought us joy and enriched our lives.

The Wind Beneath Our Wings

During our recent trip back and forth across the country there was one sight that struck me with awe every time it came into view. It was not the majesty of the mountains, or the beautiful rock formations or the mighty rivers, it was, the wind turbine.

Why, you may ask, am I so enamored by these giants of the landscape? Their sheer size for one, makes them visible from miles away. To me they are sleek and clean looking and represent the hope of the nation to clean up our environment for future generations. They stand for jobs in this pathetic economy we find ourselves in. Truck drivers hauling each 100 ft. propeller down the highways, construction workers in the fields, and even trickles down to the nearby towns that supply food and lodging to the workers.

I am not unaware of the risk to birds, the damage to farm lands and the fact that a lot of people think them unsightly on our landscape. There are always pros and cons to every issue. What I am concerned about is our country getting off the fence and doing something about global warming and I think this is a good step toward that goal.

The main problem with wind power is that you need a way to get the power to the people (pardon the 60's reference), i.e. a power grid to sell the power. This can be an expensive proposition when there is no grid nearby. T. Boone Pickens ran into this problem recently when he pulled the plug on his Texas Wind Farm, due to his inability to obtain enough money to build a grid facility. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when T. Boone can't get a loan.

So here's to the forward thinkers, the pioneers, if you will of the wind industry, may the wind carry us to new heights in energy production.

The Best Laid Plans.....

We pulled away from my Mom's house at approximately 3:45 am on Monday morning. One would think it would be easier every time I said goodbye, but it is more difficult.

My Grandkids are growing up. Max is a 'tween now, but he still puts up with my hugs and kisses with only an occasional "Oh Grandma...(you know the tone). Addie is my cuddle bunny. She still enjoys unbridled hugs and kisses. We had big plans before we got there. Among them, going to South Haven again for fun and food at Clementine's. A trip to Chicago on the train, maybe a visit to a fair or amusement park, the usual stuff.

Well.....We did go to Craig's Cruisers, where we road on the go-karts, the bumper boats, (film at 11), played video games and air hockey. A good time was had by all. We took everyone to Shipshewana, Indiana for the huge flea market where you can buy just about anything. Sam bought two lovely dress shirts for $3.75 each, I kid you not, as my Dad (and Jack Parr) would say. Then we drove over to Middlebury, Indiana to the Essenhaus for a family style dinner of roast beef, fried chicken, buttered noodles, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy and best of all, homemade pie for dessert. Yum, yum....The kids loved it.

Instead of taking the kids to South Haven, Sam and I went with my bff from way back when, Deb and her husband Bob, to Saugatuck, Michigan and strolled the streets, ate outside, and saw how the other half (or three-quarters)live.

We visited Sam's childhood homestead in Gobles with friends who have since bought the property. We walked some of the property, visited the pond where he used to swim with the Smith girls, and took a few rocks from the rock pile he and his Dad made while trying to farm the property. We will use them for bookends and perhaps a door stop or two and think fondly of the place he grew up.

Our final big event was a get-together with my classmates from the class of 1968 to celebrate our homecoming and the fact we were still alive after 41 years. What a rush that was. Most of us went kindergarten through graduation together. We all had a great time laughing and catching up.

Sprinkled in with all this were numerous bbq's at my Son's house with the kids, a family reunion that they love to attend each year, and swimming with Isabelle and Dominick.

I guess what I am trying to say is that as we get older our roles change with our families. The children are older and have friends and activities that don't involve their grandparents, and this is the trip where it hit home.

I consoled myself with plenty of MGD 64 and Plainwell Ice Cream with my family, and lots of visits with old friends and I only gained three pounds!