The Mass Is Ended Go In Peace, And Roll Credits

Okay, so today is the day we decided to attend Mass at Holy Family Catholic Community. We awoke bright and early, for a Sunday, and left at 8:45. It is about a 3 minute drive, but the car moved slowly, as it cut through the frigid air. "We probably could have walked", Sam said while he brushed dog hair off his dress coat, "but I think we should wait until it warms up a little". I agreed with him, big time.

I noticed as we got out of the car that everyone was greeting one another. People seemed very friendly, all smiling and saying hello. This being the last Sunday of the Christmas season, the sanctuary was decorated and it was beautiful. There was an immersion Baptismal pool in the center aisle in front of the altar. It was surrounded by velvet ropes to avert disaster.

Sam wanted to sit near the back so we chose our pew and had a seat. There were two LARGE video screens on either side of the altar where upcoming events were being displayed. I was interested in the music liturgy, so I wanted to scope out the choir. For a parish of this size, it did not seem too big... and no one was wearing a choir robe. Hmmm, perhaps this is the contemporary service. You know, the not so traditional mass. Wrong. It seems that this particular Catholic Church is truly "New Age" of which I did not think there was any such thing.

Before the readings, Father asked if there were any new people in the congregation. We looked around, dreading what was coming next, and sure enough, he asked the newbies to stand. I shot a glance at Sam and he said go ahead, so I did, and guess what? You got it, only me. I nervously smiled at everyone and gave a half-wave and quickly sat down. There may have been applause, don't know, don't care. So much for no one looking at me...Father welcomed me and hoped I felt at home there. That's right, Sam did not stand. Oh well, what the hell......

As Mass continued, we felt as if we were at some sort of performance. There was applause for the homily (first time experience for us), but I must admit it was worthy of it. There was a lady doing sign language for the whole service, including the songs. ( Her arms must be killing her.)

The music was very joyful, but very contemporary. I thought perhaps we were in a Christian Contemporary music infomercial. I waited for Michael W. Smith to make an appearance. Now don't get me wrong, I love a lot of those songs, but not at Mass. You know how I always save a place for Dad at Mass? Well let me just say, I don't think he will come to my mind here.

On our way out, we stopped at the "welcome desk" to ask if all the masses were this contemporary and they responded that yes they pretty much were. So we are off to find a place where we will be a little more comfortable to worship. There is definitely a need for this type of liturgy in the church, as it is losing membership to mega-churches such as Willow Creek Community Church just around the corner in South Barrington. I am glad we all have choices.

Sing praise to the Lord for He is good.

It Takes A Little Time

This is the third Sunday in a row that I have not attended Mass. In my warped little mind, I rationalize it with "I'm easing into my new environment." When in reality, I am scared. Why should I be scared? It is the Catholic Church for heavens sake. I have been a member ever since I was six weeks old. The service is virtually the same everywhere you attend.

Change is not easy for me, even though I do it all the time. I am a very self conscious person, feeling awkward and conspicuous , whenever I go somewhere new. My husband puts it another way, that I am very conceited thinking that everything is always about me. I beg to differ with him. It is actually a feeling of inferiority.

When I enter a new world I feel that I don't belong, that everyone knows I don't belong and they are somehow passing judgment on me. Weird, huh!? Obviously, I need to work on this problem. No amount of anti-depressant has helped so far. Looking at it here on this page helps a little. When I talk about it I realize how perfectly absurd it is, but there is something within me that keeps me from getting out. But I digress.

I have turned the salvation of my soul into a social occasion, putting the focus on myself rather than our Lord. Like my Dad, I do love a party. But in order to be comfortable, and enjoy the party, I need to feel accepted. It took me three and a half years to ease into high school for crying out loud. I finally felt accepted and started having fun my senior year. All I need to do is take the first step to get the ball rolling, but the older I get, the harder it becomes.

Here in northwest Chicago land there are so many people and so many churches. Call it fate, but right around the corner from our townhouse is a HUGE Catholic church. Holy Family Catholic Community. Sounds nice doesn't it? A community, not a church. Interesting. They have two Masses on Saturday night, six Masses on Sunday (two Polish Masses). It is nearly impossible to come up with a viable reason for missing church. ( And it's in my back yard for Pete's sake.) So I have decided, no more excuses, we will be attending Mass on Sunday( or Saturday night) checking out the choir situation because I still love to sing and it is a good way to make friends.

If you are reading this Mom, I am not in danger of falling away from the church or becoming an Easter Bunny or Santa Claus (those who only attend on Christmas and Easter). I love my faith and hope God understands all my eccentricities and foibles. He knows what is in my heart and I will renew my commitment to serve the Lord in any way I am able.

2010 - A Year Of New Beginnings

Our move to the Chicago land area comes at a very appropriate time. Out with the old and in with the new, as some people like to say about the New Year.

During the waning days of 2009, we shed ourselves of burdens old and embarked on yet a new adventure with a little lighter debt load. It had been a hard three years, culminating with the sale of our home in Vancouver, WA and starting over in a new city in a home we are renting. It is like going back in time, circa 1970's except we have a lot more stuff than back then. Two weeks after moving in, there are still boxes in almost every room that have not been unpacked. My heart sank when, while trying to get the desk in the upstairs office, Sam whipped out the circular saw and cut off 2 inches of the desk feet so it would fit through the door. The movers were stunned and I lost my last piece of nice furniture.

There is no more just letting the dogs out the door when they need to go out, they must wait until we put our coats on, put their leashes on and grab the poop bag. I have to live with the landlord's choices for curtains and blinds, the small shower stall where if I want water on my back, I am kissing the tile on the wall. (Imagine how Sam feels.) It's a lot like a phone booth.
But really we are quite fortunate to have found a spacious place that will take the dogs and is not a horrible commute for Sam. All this in the name of becoming debt-free.

We are fortunate in many ways, as Sam is employed, we are both relatively healthy, and we are much closer to family and friends. Things are more familiar here, but more expensive. There is a 10% sales tax, car licenses are double what they were in Washington State, you must pay to travel the roadways, and here, unlike Washington, there is a State Income tax.

The very fact that we can drive to Kalamazoo in three hours, makes it all worth it to me. Being able to watch my grand kids as they develop into young adults is priceless.

Starting over at this stage in our life is not what I had envisioned, but with it comes the opportunity to right some of our financial wrongs, spend more time with friends and family, and reduce the amount of yard work and snow removal, as it is done for us.

Happy New Year everyone. Here's to a year that brings jobs, and some new found prosperity to us all.

Winter Wonderland

It is the Sunday morning after Christmas, and I find myself on the sofa as usual. Except my sofa is in Hoffman Estates, IL this particular morning and I have just spent a lovely holiday with my family. Instead of a four hour plane ride home, it was a three hour drive. Instead of tearful goodbyes, there were hugs and kisses knowing that we would be seeing each other very soon again. (God willing).

I am looking out the patio door and seeing a beautiful, winter scene, with the snow lying heavy on the evergreen branches, realizing how much I have missed an honest to God winter. Most of you will say that I am crazy, (my husband will be first in line for that one) but there is something about the silence of a snowfall. It is very peaceful to me and takes me back to my childhood where we had a lot of fun ice skating on Wall Lake, and sledding down Bever's mountain every winter.

Last weekend we drove back to Kalamazoo and pulled in our Son's drive just in time to see the Grandkid's sledding down their hill. They had built a ramp of sorts and the joy on their faces made my heart skip a beat. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The joy of being closer to home for me is something I have longed for and is finally a reality. I thank God every day for answering my prayers and I am going to make the most of this opportunity, for we never know what tomorrow will bring.

"So Long, Farewell,,Auf Weidersehn, Goodbye"

Well here it is, the time I have been anxiously awaiting practically since the day I got here. Everything has fallen into line and our move is imminent. So why, pray tell am I a little reticent to leave? If you know me at all, you are aware that I don't handle change well. Not only am I swapping time zones again, I have to say goodbye to my friends out here. Friends it took me a long time to find, but friends that I will have forever.

To my dear friend Mary D. From the moment we met in our first creative writing class, I knew you were special and we have shared our secrets and dreams for the future. Your book will be a best-seller.

To Marg, who has been asked to endure more than any one person should. You are perhaps the strongest woman I know and you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I will never forget your kindness when I first moved to this city and you will always be my friend.

To Sandy my choir mentor/ coffee buddy and so much more. You are always there to lean on and give an encouraging word when needed. My faith is stronger because of you.

To Lisa my writing protege. Your accomplishments are too numerous to mention here, but suffice it to say I am impressed. You are an artist in everything you do. Even though we have political differences we are still friends, and that somewhat amazes me. I will miss our weekly coffee at Starbucks.

To the girls at "The Barn". OMG you guys are the BEST! You wormed your way into my heart and hopefully I did the same with yours. I miss you so much already (not to mention the 40% discount). PLEASE come visit me anytime you are in the windy city!

To Anna, Kathleen, and Kate my neighborhood friends. I will miss, walking and talking with you, and Kate you were a life-saver for us, helping out with the dogs when we had to go house hunting. I wish God would have brought you all into my life a little sooner.

And finally to my writing coach Christi. You gave me permission to be a writer. Even if it's not the great American novel, I will continue to try and publish some of my work. You are an angel and I will forever be grateful for your encouraging words.

I have learned much about myself in these past five years. I believe I have grown as a person and seen that there is life west of the Mississippi (albeit a little stranger than what I was used to).

Everyone I have met has enriched my life in one way or another and I would not have missed this "adventure" for anything.

My goodbye is bittersweet, as it is hard to leave you all, but there is joy on the other side as I will be able to see my family much more often. As I've said many times in the past, "lay in the beer, I'm coming home".

We Give Thanks

It is early Saturday morning, the sun has yet to rise and I am in my familiar position on the couch in front of my computer. After lying in bed for an hour I get up and make my way to the bathroom being careful not to trip over Sophie (or is that a pillow? My eyes ain't what they used to be) make a pot of coffee and take what will probably be one of the last quiet moments here to write.

Thanksgiving is upon us (again I ask, "Where does the time go?")and I am mindful of how appropriate the season is this year. Sam and I are getting ready to embark on yet another adventure (that is how we refer to change now) although we have been praying for it for the past few years. We are going home, more or less, to Chicago where the people are more recognizable, the weather is seasonal, and our Grand kids are closer. We can see our family more than twice a year. Instead of a grueling four hour plane ride, we can make it to Kalamazoo in about two and a half hours by car.

Getting to this place in our lives has not been easy. We have been pulled from the brink of financial ruin through the grace of God and the short-sale of our house. It has been a long and hard road, littered with daily calls to both financial institutions, whining and crying, and various other means of getting their attention. After what will be four long months when it is all over we will have reached the point where we can finally breathe.

Why am I telling you all this?(my Mother will be horrified)and after all we could just say it was a job relocation. But it is so much more. It is divine intervention. I know some of you out there (you know who you are, Steve) are rolling your eyes right now. But you tell me, is it just dumb luck? I think not. "For every time, there is a season" as scripture goes "and a time to every purpose, unto heaven". (Or something to that effect.) Please feel free to correct me. Really, I mean it.

We have been given a second chance, albeit late in life, to right our financial wrongs, get out of debt and quit living like the Jones family. We are taking it and running. This is just one of the things for which I am thankful.

I am thankful to the Lord and Leigh Anne for giving Sam a new kidney six years ago, so we could get to this stage in our life. I am thankful for the life-long friends I have made out here, and the beauty that is the Northwest. (How many of you thought I would ever say that?) The last five years have been a God given time-out for me. Lessons have been learned, tears have been shed, and joy has been immense.

This year at our table of Thanksgiving, the food will smell a little better, the laughter will be a little heartier, the love will be much deeper, and the gratitude for all we have been given will be infinite.

Confessions Of An Aging Blogger

When I first started my blog, I wanted an outlet from which I could comment on things I saw going on around me. Inane infomercials, current events, causes that were important to me, etc. I wanted to draw my readers in and generate conversation.

It is still a work in progress, as I wait to be inspired by what is going on around me or what is on in my head. It really is quite an intimate look at me. If you read my blog, you pretty much know who I am.

Some of my postings may be redundant, although never the same, there will probably be a thread that runs through it from another post. That thread is spiritual. Trying to
tie God into what I write. Not all the time, but it does seem to pop up in a lot of my writing.

So here is what I am getting at. If you read my blog, even if you do not agree with what I say, comment on it. I do not know you are reading it, if I don't hear from you. Click on the comment button and say something. Anything. Tell me of a similar thing that may have happened to you or how you see the situation I am commenting on. The world would be a very boring place if we all had the same opinion. Try not to be rude, but if you must you must.....Thank you for your support.