Get Your Indulgences Here

I have been going back and forth about writing this article for several weeks and finally decided to go ahead and do it. So here goes.

A few weeks ago I was reading the New York Times when I came across an article about how the Catholic Church is re-emphasizing Indulgences among its members. In an effort to get more of their flock back into confessionals they now are bringing indulgences to the fore front, reminding us that if we are in a state of grace (going to Confession, free of both mortal and venial sin, and receiving Holy Communion) we are eligible for a Plenary Indulgence, if while in this state we do things like recite the Rosary in church with a group of people or as a family in our home.

I also read in our church bulletin that the Pope has granted a Plenary Indulgence for a pious visit to St.Paul's Basilica in Rome during this Year of Saint Paul. If you can't make it to the Eternal City of Rome, you may visit a designated holy place named for St. Paul to fulfill the condition of a pilgrimage.

What is a Plenary Indulgence, you might ask. Well, come to find out, when you go to confession and you are absolved of your sins by the priest, you still face punishment for sins committed. This punishment is done in a place called Purgatory. But..if you receive a Plenary Indulgence and do not sin again before you die, you have a one way ticket to Heaven. Okay...........

Here's where I have a problem. First of all, when you look up the word absolution, it not only means forgiveness, but redemption, you know, "off the hook". I am very confused by this religion I call mine. There are too many levels up there, it's like a video game for Pete's sake. Don't even get me started on Partial Indulgences. That is time off for good deeds done. They don't tell you how much time, because, duh, it's Eternity! Oh and by the way, you have to ask for an indulgence or You Don't Get One!! I thought the whole idea of doing good was not asking for anything in return.

I am officially confused. In the last 58 years we have dropped St. Christopher, said it was okay to eat meat on Friday, okay to miss Sunday Mass (as long as we had a good reason), bid farewell to the Mass in Latin, and countless other things we believed in.

So I practice something called Cafeteria Catholicism. I take what I can stomach and leave the rest. I love the Lord and I was born into this Religion, and quite frankly don't see anything else out there that appeals to me. But every once in a while I have to sound off.

"Let's Write It Up On The Hood"

Back in a former life, I used to sell Real Estate. I spent my last nine years in Kalamazoo, MI selling homes, but as most Realtors know, writing up the sale is the easy part. Before and after present most of the problems and I might add fun.

When I first decided to try real estate, I answered an ad in the paper and interviewed with a fellow who had sold homes for about 100 years. He had come up with a plan where Realtors could keep most of their commission by not having an office to pay for. So you would work from your home. He cautioned me that this was not for someone who needed to stand around the coffee pot and chit chat with others. Well right away I knew that wasn't where I wanted to be.

That decision turned out to be the right one. The office camaraderie energized me. I worked at three different offices met wonderful people, both inside and outside of the office.

I remember house tour when we used to actually go out and tour newly listed homes on the market. It really gave us a feel for the home and neighborhood and was much more effective than photo tour which is used now in most offices. It was a great way to interact with fellow agents.

There were times when for some reason or another, I didn't click with a client, but most of the time I made friends for life with my clients. I remember one particular instance when I took a client out to house hunt. An appointment was made with the listing agent who mentioned that the seller was moving that day, but to go ahead and show it.

When we got there, sure enough, the moving truck was out front and the front door was off, sitting in the yard. We walked in to nothing short of chaos. There was a large bird in a cage and when someone moved the cage the door flew open and the bird flew out the door. That was quite a sight. We continued through the house looking around all the clutter when we reached the kitchen. There was a myriad of doors so in my usual way, I opened the doors to show the buyer what was behind them. We came to a pocket door that I thought might contain the laundry room. When I opened the door there sat one of the movers, a Rastafarian looking gentleman, on a toilet smiling up at us, no embarrassment on his part, just a big grin. Whoa Nellie, I thought I was going to swallow my tongue! I was embarrassed enough for both of us. I was mortified, Donna, my client almost wet herself from laughing hysterically. Needless to say the showing was over. It took me several years to be able to talk about it with anyone other than Donna.

I miss real estate and everything that goes with it. I tried it out here for a while, but it wasn't the same. Mostly I miss my friends, who I visit when I am back home.

If any of you out there have funny real estate stories, please comment and let me know what they are, I would love to hear them.

I wish all my real estate buddies only the best in this horrible economy that we are stuck in. You are all professionals and I am confident you will weather this storm and come out on the other side even better.

Love You to the Max (A letter to my first Grandchild)

The first time I held you in my arms was a magical moment. Only about five minutes old, freshly bathed and wrapped tightly in a receiving blanket and hand knit stocking cap. There wasn't a peep out of you. I think you were happy in my arms. Could you feel the love in my arms and in my heart?

Oh little one, how you transformed me. I didn't realize that I could feel so much love for another human being. I will spend time with you, and watch you grow day by day if I can.

You won't have to call me "Miss Theresa" or GiGi, or even Nana. Grandma will do just fine. I will wear that badge proudly and with honor.

I wonder what it is that evokes so much love for our Grandchildren. Perhaps it is God giving me another chance. I have so much more time to spend with you than I did with your Dad. I was too busy growing up myself when he was a child. But I will spend a minimum of one day a week with you little man. You have captured my heart.

I will never forget the night you were born and holding you in my arms. No one will ever hurt you or they will have me to answer to.

Thank you Son, for giving me this bundle of joy and starting a new chapter in my life.

Time Gone By

Addie, can you see me?
I'm here next to your Mom in the birthing room watching you
come into the world.

Addie, can you hear me?
I am rocking you, singing to you, and telling you how
much I love you already.

Addie, can you feel me?
I am holding you snug in my arms as you feed from your
bottle.

Addie, can you understand why I had to be gone these last four
years of your life?

I can't

Looking at your perfect little freckle-kissed face.
Listening to you read to me about a sunflower that went flop, as we sit under
your Great-Grandma's hickory tree.

So I will cherish this and every moment we have together.
Watching you look at everything with wonder and imagination
through those beautiful lapis blue eyes.

I will hold in my mind the way it feels when you hug me
with your soft, little arms, every "I love you Grandma," or
"What shall we do today, Grandma?"

I have missed so much.....

But believe you me, you are, and always will be

In my heart

Thanks For The Memories

As some of you may know, I am working on a book about my Dad. After he passed I felt it was something I needed to do. I have several chapters done, but have not let my Brothers see them yet. Part of me wants to show them, but then part of me is afraid they won't remember the same man I knew.

There has been a lot of controversy lately about authors and their non-fiction books. Memoirs, in particular. It seems people now feel the need to scrutinize these literary works. These are not biographies or auto-biographies which should be more or less factual. They are memoirs, based on our personal memories of the person. So we have some literary latitude says my writing coach.

One of the quotations I used in my book is "It doesn't matter who my Father was, it is who I remember he was." by Anne Sexton.

I remember my Father as a disciplinarian, a goof-ball, and a hard worker, just to mention a few.

In the disciplinarian vein, I remember an instance when my Brother Doug and I took our little Brother Phil for a wagon ride down the driveway. Phil was all for it until we left him in the wagon at the end of the driveway, right smack dab in the middle of a huge mud puddle. Doug and I took off back to the house just in time to meet Dad coming out of the back door with a hairbrush in his hand. "Oh-oh here it comes" said Doug, as we tried to make a run for it.

That's the way I remember it. I'm sure Phil has a different take on it.

No Fear Zone

I am coming to you today from the "No Fear Zone" and why that is I have yet to realize. It's like one morning recently I awoke and was not worried anymore.

Worried about what? you may ask. Well....losing our house for instance. Or having a financial crisis that would bankrupt us, or moving back closer to home. Or another depression. Or losing our jobs. The list goes on and on and frankly I should be scared shitless. But realistically what can we do about it?

Yes we can budget (which we are doing), but as my husband says,"we are just one Vet bill or medical emergency away from the brink of financial ruin." To sit around and worry about it is an exercise in futility.

I was looking back at how we may have gotten into this mess. First of all we are not alone. There is a little satisfaction in knowing that there are a lot of families in our situation and millions more are in fact losing there homes and much more.

Yes it's true we spent money like drunken sailors in the past. A lot of it spent on toys that we didn't need. But back then we could afford them and had a lot of fun with them. We took vacations that perhaps seemed extravagant to some, but we had the money and made some terrific memories.

We knew we should be saving for the future. For a rainy day as some would say. Well the monsoons are here and we don't even have an umbrella. So the time is here to tighten our belts and pray to God that we get out of this thing alive, which we won't, due to our mortality.

As I reflect back on my life so far, I remember trips to Disney World, Hawaii, presents for our Kids and Grandkids, and the fact that you can't take it with you. The memories we made were worth it and we will get through this just fine.

So bring it on, what are you gonna do? take my house? take my worldly possessions? It just might make our lives a little simpler and easier.

Happy New Year

Over the last week or so I have been greeted by hugs and "Happy New Year" from my friends and family. This year it sounds all very familiar to me but in my heart and in my mind it is very different.

This year I have no expectations, or resolutions. I am asking nothing of the universe. For you see, I already have everything that is needed to be happy. My valuable lesson came over Christmas, when I realized that material things do not make Christmas, but rather being with loved ones and making memories that no one can take away from us is the true meaning.

I am a rich person. My riches don't take up space in a safety deposit box, they are in my heart. Dear friends who take time out of their busy holiday schedules to get together and talk about the "old days" and not so old days, our hopes and dreams, our disappointments. Family who take me along to breakfast and foot the bill because they know things are tight right now for us. (And I will be leaving soon.)

So I will tackle 2009 with my usual humor and look to my friends and family for material. Sorry, but I am a writer.

Happy New Year!